Are you having challenges with conflicting views when co-parenting? In the book Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, there is an important idea called “What You See is All There Is” (WYSIATI). This idea means that people make decisions based only on the information they have right in front of them, ignoring anything they don’t know. This can cause problems, especially for divorced parents who are trying to raise their kids together.
Let’s imagine two parents, Sarah and John, who are divorced and share custody of their two children, Emily and Noah. Sarah believes in having a set routine for the kids. She makes sure they eat healthy food, do their homework, and go to bed on time. John, on the other hand, thinks it’s important for the kids to have fun and be relaxed. When they are with him, they have more freedom and get to do exciting things.
Sarah only sees the mess the kids are in after spending time with John, like when they come back tired and full of sugar. She thinks John is not being a responsible parent. John, on the other hand, sees the kids stressed when they switch back to Sarah’s strict schedule and believes she is too controlling. Both parents are only seeing their side of the story because of WYSIATI.
For Sarah, it’s frustrating because she thinks her way is the best way to care for their kids. She can’t understand why John doesn’t see it. John feels the same way. He thinks Sarah doesn’t appreciate the happiness and freedom he gives the kids.
The problem with WYSIATI is that each parent only has part of the information. They see their own efforts and the kids’ behavior when they come back from the other parent, but they don’t see the whole picture. This causes misunderstandings and arguments, making it hard to work together.
To get past this, Sarah and John need to talk openly and share what they see. They have to listen to each other without judging. If they do this, they can understand each other’s viewpoints better. Sarah might realize that some fun and freedom are good for the kids. John might see that routines and healthy habits are also important.
By working together and seeing beyond just what is in front of them, Sarah and John can create a better environment for Emily and Noah. It’s not easy, but with patience and understanding, they can make co-parenting work and help their kids grow up happy and healthy.
In the book Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, there is an important idea called “What You See is All There Is” (WYSIATI). This idea means that people make decisions based only on the information they have right in front of them, ignoring anything they don’t know. This can cause problems, especially for divorced parents who are trying to raise their kids together.
Let’s imagine two parents, Sarah and John, who are divorced and share custody of their two children, Emily and Noah. Sarah believes in having a set routine for the kids. She makes sure they eat healthy food, do their homework, and go to bed on time. John, on the other hand, thinks it’s important for the kids to have fun and be relaxed. When they are with him, they have more freedom and get to do exciting things.
Sarah only sees the mess the kids are in after spending time with John, like when they come back tired and full of sugar. She thinks John is not being a responsible parent. John, on the other hand, sees the kids stressed when they switch back to Sarah’s strict schedule and believes she is too controlling. Both parents are only seeing their side of the story because of WYSIATI.
For Sarah, it’s frustrating because she thinks her way is the best way to care for their kids. She can’t understand why John doesn’t see it. John feels the same way. He thinks Sarah doesn’t appreciate the happiness and freedom he gives the kids.
The problem with WYSIATI is that each parent only has part of the information. They see their own efforts and the kids’ behavior when they come back from the other parent, but they don’t see the whole picture. This causes misunderstandings and arguments, making it hard to work together.
To get past this, Sarah and John need to talk openly and share what they see. They have to listen to each other without judging. If they do this, they can understand each other’s viewpoints better. Sarah might realize that some fun and freedom are good for the kids. John might see that routines and healthy habits are also important.
By working together and seeing beyond just what is in front of them, Sarah and John can create a better environment for Emily and Noah. It’s not easy, but with patience and understanding, they can make co-parenting work and help their kids grow up happy and healthy.
If you have any more questions about co-parenting challenges with conflicting views, The Schriever Law Firm is here to help you with all your Family Law needs. Call us today at 801-574-0883